Children are still learning the language of their inner world.

They often do not yet have the words to say,

“I don’t feel comfortable there.”

“I want to decide something for myself.”

“I need to make my choices as well.”

So when they react, it can look like defiance.

But very often, it is a child’s early and clumsy attempt at claiming their autonomy.

You might notice it when they refuse to go somewhere.

When they resist attending a function.

When they push back against plans that adults have already decided.

In moments like these, curiosity can change everything.

Instead of only seeing the behavior, try to understand the message behind it.

You could sit with them and ask,

“Help me understand what you are feeling about this.”

“What is in this that makes you feel uneasy?”

“Is there something I can do that would make this easier for you?”

Sometimes children are trying to say something important, but they do not yet know how to say it in the right way.

When you approach them with curiosity, the child feels accepted.

And acceptance makes it safer for them to open up.

Then the conversation slowly changes.

It becomes two people trying to understand something together.

And together, you can figure out what might help.

This matters because when a child feels heard, they slowly learn a better way to speak for themselves.

The stubbornness you see today may simply be the early shape of confidence that is still learning how to express itself.

And if you still notice that the communication feels stuck despite your patience and curiosity, a counselling conversation can sometimes help both the child and the parents build a stronger understanding with each other.

Because at the end of the day, a family that loves each other also keeps learning how to listen to each other.

Your Psychologist,

Ambidextrous Anmol