What I love about this question is that it acknowledges something we do not often admit.

Often, we tell ourselves,

“I am sad.”

“I am angry.”

“I am confused.”

Sometimes, we even say, “I don’t know what I am feeling.”

However, are we ever really feeling just one thing or nothing?

In any given moment, our past is speaking.

Our beliefs are speaking.

Our values are speaking.

Our fears are speaking.

Even our sense of the future is speaking.

So, how can we expect ourselves to feel only one thing when so many parts of us are trying to be heard at the same time?

From my perspective, this is one of the most human experiences we can have.

Feelings are fluid.

They are constantly updating us about our relationship with ourselves, others, and the world around us.

They change because our relationship with the present moment is constantly changing.

And perhaps emotions are like seasons, while feelings are like the weather.

You may be in a season of love, and yet experience the weather of uncertainty.

You may be in a season of grief, and yet experience moments of relief.

You may be in a season of healing, and still find yourself feeling angry on certain days.

The weather changes. It rarely remains the same throughout the day.

And so do our feelings.

This is why it is possible to want to walk away and yet stay.

To hold on and let go.

To hope for forever while simultaneously fearing what tomorrow may bring.

Perhaps the part of you that wants to stay is trying to protect connection.

Perhaps the part of you that wants to leave is trying to protect safety.

And perhaps the part of you that wants forever is trying to protect hope.

Which brings me to something I say often:

Feelings are feedback.

They are not asking us to obey them.

They are asking us to understand them.

They are telling us something about what is happening within us in response to what is happening around us.

So, I would invite you to ask a different question.

Instead of asking, “Which feeling should I listen to?”

Ask yourself:

“What is each feeling trying to tell me?”

Sit with the feeling.

Give it time.

Allow it to teach you something about yourself before you allow it to shape your future.

Because being human has never been about feeling one thing and only one thing.

It has always been about learning how to hold many truths at the same time.

And sometimes, holding all of those truths can feel heavy.

Sometimes, we become so close to our own experience that it becomes difficult to see it clearly.

The biggest gift of being human is that we do not always have to make sense of our experiences alone.

Whether it is a trusted friend, a family member, or a mental health professional, there are times when allowing another person to sit with us helps us hear ourselves more clearly.

Because sometimes, what we need is not another answer.

Sometimes, we simply need a witness.

Someone who can hold a safe space for us while we learn to understand ourselves more clearly.

Your Psychologist,

Ambidextrous Anmol

You want to be desired.

You want to feel wanted.

And sometimes, different people make us feel those things in different ways.

From my perspective, it is possible to experience genuine feelings for more than one person at the same time.

Why?

Because feelings are feedback.

Different people can bring out different parts of us. One person may make us feel understood. Another may make us feel desired. Someone else may remind us of a version of ourselves that we want to explore.

Psychology offers many lenses through which we can understand these experiences: attachment styles, unmet emotional needs, personality, unresolved conflicts, and many more. But understanding which of these applies to you often requires sitting with a psychologist and exploring your story.

For now, let us understand something simpler.

Human beings are emotional creatures capable of reason.

But when emotions become intense, reason often loses its voice.

And when reason loses its voice, temporary feelings can begin making permanent decisions.

That is where we need to pause and remember: Feelings are feedback.

They tell us what is happening within us in response to what is happening around us.

That is why I encourage people to remember four things:

Feel: Feel your feelings.

Sit: Acknowledge them as you sit with them.

Give it time: The feedback they are offering needs to be processed.

Choose: Your actions become your memories. Choose them consciously.

Why?

Because feelings are temporary experiences.

But our choices tend to stay with us much longer.

In my practice, people rarely say:

"I regret what I felt."

More often, they say:

"I wish I had not done what I did..."

"I wish I had talked with someone about it..."

Your feelings are feedback.

Your actions are decisions.

And your decisions have a way of becoming your self-image.

Long after the intensity of a feeling has faded, we continue living with the story of what we did with it.

Because the body remembers.

The mind remembers.

And self-image remembers.

So, how do we distinguish between attraction, infatuation, and love?

Attraction wants immediacy.

"I feel something. I want to move toward it."

Infatuation wants reassurance.

"Tell me this is real. Tell me this will stay."

Love has faith, patience, and the capacity to tolerate uncertainty.

"I do not know what the future holds, but I can remain present while I discover it."

Time often reveals the intensity, depth, and nature of what we are feeling.

Not every feeling is asking to become a relationship.

Sometimes, feelings are simply asking to be understood.

So, if you ever find yourself feeling deeply for more than one person at the same time, acknowledge the feeling. Sit with it. Give it time.

Discover whether it is asking for your heart, or merely seeking your attention.

Lastly:

"Sit with the feeling before you build a future around it."

Your Psychologist,

Ambidextrous Anmol